One thing I understood as a kid was that faith is anchored within the body, while a belief is in the mind (which is why it's crucial to build a belief system that's coherent—it forms the foundation of a faith that is complete and unwavering, while allowing you to embody it).
Faith is a deep trust that allows for complete relaxation in what is.
It’s not being disengaged, nor is it being numbed; it’s the capacity to let go, to relax, to surrender, and to allow things to unfold, while doing your best.
I had read, in my book of the Story of the life of Jesus for kids, that there was a villain in the world: he called it the devil. I could see that there was something that made us act without care or concern about others, a force that was pushing us to become “unloving”. And as my mom use to put it, it started in our own heart.
Therefore, this “villain” also had power on me, through what I thought were fear and doubt.
And Fear has many, many faces.
And so does Doubt.
They are both at the root of all the negative emotions humans can have, like jealousy, dishonesty, cruelty, etc.
Even though I was willing to admit being wrong about the existence of God (not before I’d die, though!), I had decided that I needed to wholeheartedly believe in It if I was to choose It to be real: no half measure here, since It knows everything about me!
So, whenever I felt scared or doubtful, I would practice faith.
I would lie down on my bed.
Then, with my eyes closed in order to “see” better, I would scan my body to find the places where Fear and Doubt resided.
I would whisper the word “God”, or “I believe in God”, until I felt it relaxed.
I would scan my whole body and do this process until I felt completely at ease.
I was making my faith stronger than my fear.
Because when you have the Most Power Friend in the Universe, there’s nothing to fear : it’s all a trick to pull you away from It.
Yet, from what I understood, calm and peace are God's language, not anger and wars. Therefore, resisting Fear through confrontation would be futile; there was only one path out of it, and in my mind, it was not through resistance, but through surrendering to it and pacifying it.
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